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marți, 27 ianuarie 2009

A SHITLOAD OF BABY

well i am back !!!
i 've promised so here i am
first of all i see that you are not currios to find out about my fucked up childhood and the shit that got me into beeing like i am HONESTLY MAD AS A DOG !!! THAT'S GOOOD !! IT JUST MEANS I AM GOOD TO GO
after metallica was on the edge of celebrity and the british rock age mixed with the american shit (trujillo i still hate you cocksucker mother fucked up fucker) ,after romanians were already tired of hunger and eating the so called "tortion soup" or better "ciorba de torshan de porc" or the delicious "doi la punga " a .k.a. "the petreusi brothers "(if you were not borned and raised in romania you wouldn't understand)came the glorious year of 1982 . here it all began
in 1981 after a coffee and two snagov cigarettes my father looked with hungry eyes at my mother and banged her so hard (sometimes i think too hard ) that she never wanted sex again (considering my father still complains i think she got stuck whith that idea) wel so far so good .nevertheless a humonguos pregnancy resulted in that matter. nine months of labour three seasons and three or four fights after i was out there alone with the general reaction :WHAT THE FUCK!!!! WHAT'S THIS 15 PUONDS CHUNK OF BLUBB!!( the first and the only time i was fat) ok ,then my father beated some doctors some nurses ,some men that stole some matches from him back in 71 some grocery store keepers and (these things repeated in time so i will tell you later about it) I came home . THE mad HATTER was born. i was born at my granny as i like to say . ohhh i remember myself !!! i 've been a pain in the ass of my parrents and especially my bigger brother . wanna know why? i thought you did not but still i will ask : do you know what a tonn is ? well i think in only one year i ate a TONN of apples and biscuits cut pealed and poured into my always hungry mouth as i refused to eat by myself and i had to be fed (my brother still comlains about the work he ,as the older brother, had to do for me) . after that there was only THE SHIT !!!! there were no pampers no fucking wet hankerchiefs no baby sitter to wipe the shit off your much loved baby . there was only the hell of shit an the large thankfull smile from me as i quietly continued to shit my soul away . ohhh and not only that . i had the nasty habbit of walking with a full load away from the designated scraper (my brother) spreadind the smell and not only around the house , doing a better job than any fucked up modern gled spray
all in all i was an eating and shiting machine 15 pouds large at full throtlle. the rest i can't remember . as a matter of facts nothing has changed only some other activities added over the years such as drinking and shiting or better not doing nothing and shiting or better writing a blog post and shiting .................................................................................GOT TO GO!!!!!!!!

SEE YA SHITHEADS!!!!!!!!!!!

5 comentarii:

  1. You have to explain the shiting ritual, unknown for many, in which only a few select ones are initiated. The ritual is called the shit revelation in which the shiter reecives thoughts, ideeas and divine inspiration from the efforts deposed to eliminate the evil gathered in time.

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  2. gosh, i shouldn't have read your post after eating...... although i am impressed of how eventful your childhood was.
    anyway, i'm going to read it again when i'll feel in the mood of having children of my own. it will surely change my mood.

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  3. do you consider having children a mood? gosh

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  4. for the time being... it's a mood, the "i want children" mood, it comes and goes

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  5. it wasn't meant to make up your mind in what giving birth to a child is concerned but you may consider it a preview of that

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